*POP*

Another bubble of mine has been popped, in a way that makes me feel a little bit more out of the loop of life.

Of course its about sex. Sometimes I feel like everyone has had it except me. Even here in this Christian Bubble I'm working at I feel that way. I know that's supposed to be a good thing, but it makes me feel like I developed wrong or something.

The bubble was about how many Christians have actually *done it* that are my age (21) and never married (a lot. Great stats, I know). I should have figured, of course, but I think I left the bubble there in its place to make me feel like less of a prude. Now its gone, dangit, and I have to sit here and try to figure out why I'm a prude, why guys scare me, and what I can learn from it.

I'm a virgin, not out of my own ambition to be one, but just because of who I am. I completely close myself off to guys who try to get too close. The reason I'm with my boyfriend is that he kept knocking, even making me feel awkward at times with all his obnoxious knocking, until I finally just opened up to him. I wonder if, given the opportunity, or temptation, if you will, if I would have given in. I suppose I'll never know.